Experiment 1 Results: While it is unpleasant, I’m able to step into a cold shower. Ultimately, I didn’t feel too much of a difference in my life simply because the showers I’ve been taking have been cold. Certainly no onrush of testosterone. I think I will continue to turn down the temperature towards the end, but stepping into a cold shower is ultimately a miserable, if bearable, experience.
Day 4: “the day has slowly been dawning on me, so I said “f&ck it,” and stepped into the icy-cold water. The initial shock wore off almost instantly at how much better I felt than I expected. Uncomfortable, sure, but fine. I decided to stick it through. The whole shower was cold, and then a little colder. At some points, I almost fell completely fine, at others the prickling reminded me that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. But mostly, I was completely fine.”
Now, the going to bed consistently, that’s been great. I mostly stuck through the going to bed around 1 AM (sometimes a little later.) Waking at 8 became almost a habit. I’ve been sleeping in class a lot less. I feel more refreshed. Definitely something to keep up.
You can find the full Experiment 1 Log here.
So, what about the bigger picture? What about facing my fears head on? I’ve made some progress. I’ve come clean with a few people instead of playing games. I’ve faced on one of my biggest fears. It’s made me miserable. I don’t know how to respond yet. I think it’s completely natural to avoid pain, so I guess I’ll write more on that when progress comes about.
Now then, time to tackle the biggest challenge in my life – my lack of consistency. While I certainly don’t expect it to to change in a week, a solid week is a good start. The three main places where a lack of consistency hurts me the most are academics, music, and working out. I’ll tackle two of them this week, and see if the third weaves itself in.
Experiment 2: I will study for ay least TWO hours each day, and before every dinner I have, I will do at least 100 pushups. Simple enough? Let’s see if I can keep that up with the consistent sleep pattern and showers with cold endings.